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Why Men Never Get Rid Of Stuff
It's a mystery why men never get rid of stuff, but the fact is each man probably has at least the equivalent of one railroad boxcar full of stuff that he's going to take to his grave. Now, everybody knows that men and boys differ only by the cost of their toys, but it should also be said that all of the things they each collect help to differentiate them as well.
One good example of this is to think about a man and an object he particularly treasures. Maybe it's a ski helmet that he used one time back when Gerald Ford was running things. He probably ended up hated skiing that day but that helmet is proof that he once skied, so expect to find it on his mantle well into his 80s. It's kind of a badge of honor, in truth.
Most likely, the helmet will turn up in a museum collection on some off-world planet after we finally figure out that hyperdrive or warp drive thingy that all the science fiction movies tell us is just around the corner. It'll probably be just as dusty and unused then as it is today and as it was over 30 years ago, but it's a way for man to connect with his past, most would say.
Another fine example of things men never get rid of is the typical black sport watch. This particular item most likely broke down when Bill Clinton was running for president back in 1992 and there's no hope of getting it fixed. But the memories attached to the watch somehow require that the watch itself be present in order to send out all those positive vibes. At least, that's what most men believe.
At any rate, most women who are around men in some form or another understand that the opposite sex has an inordinate love of all things arcane, obscure and memorable (to them at least). Good luck trying to get a guy to let go of something like a pair of parachute pants that were last popular when the mid-80s turned into the late 80s. Those pants aren't going anywhere, it would seem.
Men seem to need these physical objects far more than many women do. Consider a man who grew up as a boy that played a lot of sandlot ball. This man has a cracked black helmet upon his mantle that is almost the equivalent of the Purple Heart medal. The ball hit it one day and didn't hit him in the head, which means a lot to him, one might suppose, though it means nothing to anybody else.
All of the ways in which men collect stuff and then refuse to ever let it go just helps to highlight why they truly are our cultural documentarians. Chances are, in 10,000 years, anthropologists and archaeologists will only need to look at one man's basement to learn everything they ever wanted to know about men and and their love of stuff.
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